


Jim and Spock, Through Leonard’s Eyes

by twisting_vine_x



Category: Star Trek (2009)
Genre: Angst, Bones accidentally stumbling upon Jim and Spock having sex, M/M, Romance, Sappiness, You're-not-dead!sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-20
Updated: 2012-06-20
Packaged: 2017-11-08 04:31:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,944
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/439172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twisting_vine_x/pseuds/twisting_vine_x
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jim and Spock’s relationship, from Leonard’s point of view. A sequence of three different experiences and observations.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Jim and Spock, Through Leonard’s Eyes

It wasn’t until the beginning of their third year in space that Leonard began to realize why Jim had fallen in love with Spock. 

That realization was a long time coming, as Spock and Jim had already been together for two years, and Leonard had remained baffled over how exactly their relationship worked. After such a rough beginning, it was a miracle that Jim and Spock had even become friends, let alone an unbeatable command team that was already known throughout the Klingon Empire -

And all of this while simultaneously cultivating a romance story that easily put Romeo and Juliet to shame.

Although it had taken their entire first year in space for Spock and Jim to work out their issues, Jim seemed to have eventually found the right words to sneak beneath that icy exterior. To hear Jim tell the story, he had suddenly and without warning found himself smashed into a wall, Spock’s alien warmth practically burning him through his clothes -

But this time, instead of struggling to breathe around the bruises on his trachea, Jim had ended up with lips mashed against his, pinned to the wall with such strength that – as Jim had gleefully recounted – he couldn’t have escaped even if he’d wanted to.

Every time Jim told the story, his stupid grin radiating pure glee, Leonard fought the urge to smash Jim’s head against the wall. As fascinating as those pointy ears were, and as pretty as Jim’s eyes were, Leonard had no desire to hear about his best friend’s sex life – it wasn’t something he wanted to think about too closely, when he had to work with these men on a regular basis. 

Then, even as Leonard was still pondering the fact that Jim seemed to have finally decided to settle down – with _Spock_ , of all people, who repressed everything to the point of going a little crazy, and was the most unlikely counterpart for Jim, who oozed passion from every inch of his existence – everything came to a shattering head after one particularly horrible away mission. It wasn’t the first time Jim had gotten hurt protecting Spock, but it was one of the worst, and his heart stopped twice while he was on the table. 

As soon as they had beamed back Jim’s bloodied form, Leonard had firmly shut off his own heart, and reached for his core of rational medical training, knowing that his hands would never stop shaking if he acknowledged whose body he was holding together – 

And while Leonard had scrambled to keep Jim breathing, Spock had never left the operating room.

As he hovered in the corner, the expression on his face carved from marble, Leonard distantly felt a flash of fear for what would happen when that statue finally crumbled. The thought had barely crossed his mind before Jim’s heart stopped for the second time, his face nauseatingly pale and his lips tinted blue, and Leonard couldn’t seem to move fast enough. 

Even as he was applying the recharger to Jim’s chest, Spock came over to stand at the head of the bed, resting his fingers against the sides of Jim’s face, and murmuring softly in both Vulcan and English. Leonard didn’t try to stop him, a silent prayer falling from his lips, and when Spock’s aching eyes slid closed, a heart-breaking noise escaping him as he merged his living mind with Jim’s dying body, Leonard swore he would never fight with Spock again, if only they could get Jim through this.

They managed, somehow – a mixture of Leonard’s medical training, and Spock’s mental lifeline – but it had been terrifyingly close, and the aftermath found them sitting together beside Jim’s bed. Spock looked almost as bad as Jim, and Leonard’s mind shied away from the idea of melding with someone whose heart had already stopped, his entire body aching at the lost look in Spock’s eyes. 

“You really care about him, don’t you.”

Leonard’s words were rough with exhaustion, and he couldn’t keep the gruff affection out of his voice, but Spock’s only reaction was to stare straight ahead, not taking his eyes from Jim’s still form. Leonard abruptly realized how sickeningly yellow Spock’s skin was, and he stopped a sigh as he got to his feet, deciding to let Spock sit in silence.

When he stepped toward the bed and curled his hand around Jim’s, Spock was beside him with surprising speed, reaching out to rest his hand on top of Leonard’s, his skin warmer than seemed normal. Leonard blinked at him in utter astonishment, seeing the open nervousness in Spock’s eyes, before he realized that Spock had already pressed his other hand to Jim’s face, those long fingers falling in a familiar pattern – 

And then Leonard was swamped with alien sensation, overwhelmed by a staggering combination of relief, terror, and love, with no sense of where Spock started and Jim began. Not truly part of the meld, Leonard was nevertheless sharing his emotions with both of them, and Jim’s mind somehow reached out towards him through Spock, the tiny hint of contact enough to make Leonard stagger.

_Bones._

Jim’s gleeful exclamation was saturated with surprised love and affection, and Leonard was still gasping when Spock slowly took his hand away, leaving Leonard to dig his fingers into Jim’s palm. As Leonard struggled to breathe, Spock suddenly looked painfully unsure of himself, as though the connection may not have been welcome.

“I apologize if –”

“God, Spock, you –” Leonard found himself shaking his head desperately, the world tilting uncomfortably around him. “Just shut up for a second and let me thank you, alright?” 

Leonard was still gasping for air, but he could feel a stupid grin sneaking across his face, and Jim’s loving voice was still echoing through his mind, settling around him like a warm blanket. Spock’s unease seemed to visibly bleed out of him, and something close to relief flickered across his eyes. 

“I surmised that Jim would benefit from our combined metal contact. He cares greatly for you.”

Something twisted in Leonard’s chest, and he tightened his grip on Jim’s hand, his voice less than steady.

“I’m the only one – he was alone for a long time, before he met me.”

“I know.”

Leonard didn’t think he would ever get a smile out of Spock, but those dark eyes were suddenly gentle with gratitude, and relief had softened the tension around his mouth. For the first time since their mission began, Leonard began to understand why Jim had fallen head over heels for Spock, apparently with little hope of ever coming up for air.

“You’re alright, Spock, you know that?” His tongue seemed to be working without his consent, but Leonard shook his head at Spock’s disbelieving eyebrow. “You two are good for each other. He needed someone like you, and – well, I’m pretty sure you were hurting for love, too.”

Leonard wasn’t sure where his frank words were coming from, but the last few hours had seen Jim dying beneath his hands, and his mind was still reeling from their brief moment of mental contact. When Spock looked away, his almost embarrassed eyes going to Jim, Leonard fought the ridiculous urge to give Spock a hug.

Instead, Leonard simply smiled at Spock and squeezed Jim’s hand once before, before walking out of the room, wanting them to have some time alone. His mind was still reeling from being connected to Jim’s, and he wondered how hard he’d have to work to convince Spock to do that more often.

\- - -

When Leonard stumbled upon them having sex – an unhappy incident that was bound to happen sooner or later – it was truly an accident of the highest order.

A week after their horrible away mission, Jim had informed the crew that they’d be getting three glorious days of shore leave on Levinius V, and Leonard had immediately booked himself a private room on the planet, knowing that Jim would be spending the time with Spock. While they had still booked into the same hotel, Leonard had brushed off Jim’s open invitation to join him and Spock at any time, wanting Jim and Spock to have a few days of peace together, just the two of them.

Their first day on Levinius V was the first day Leonard had let Jim out of sickbay, finally pronouncing him healed, and it was almost insulting how quickly Jim was out of sickbay and down to the planet. Leonard had followed some hours afterward, bringing his books and brandy, and decided to take a walk before settling in for the night. He and most of the crew had booked into a place outside of Levinius V’s capital city, and the sprawling forests were oddly reminiscent of certain parts of Earth, with the expected forests and shiny blue lakes – 

What Leonard hadn’t expected was to stumble upon his two commanding officers having sex in some kind of wooded glade, as though they were trying to recreate a scene from some goddamn romance novel.

“Fuck, Spock, I’m not going to break, would you just –”

“Be silent.”

Spock was buried deep inside Jim, their bodies pressed almost impossibly close together, and Jim’s hands were mercilessly pinned above his head, his head thrown back against the grass. Heat shooting through his entire body, Leonard had just begun to scramble backwards when he’d finally taken in the look on Spock’s face – and what he saw there made him come to a dead stop, his embarassment completely overwhelmed by the sudden ache in his chest.

“You became hurt in my defence.”

There was no mistaking the broken shake to Spock’s voice – the way he seemed incapable of hiding his fear, which was clearly reflected in those all-too-human eyes – and the blatant love there was enough to strip Leonard’s lungs of oxygen. 

“Spock –”

“You almost died. I will never accept that.”

Leonard suddenly realized that he was seeing more desperate emotion than he’d ever expected to see from anyone, and the helpless need in Spock’s eyes – the vulnerable twist to his face, the way he was holding Jim with what had to be bruising force – made him finally understand exactly why Jim had fallen head over heels for Spock. 

“Do you understand, Jim?”

Spock deliberately pushed himself a little closer, grinding their bodies even tighter together, and Jim’s garbled response got completely lost in the low whine he couldn’t seem to stop. With an almost pained sound of his own, Spock’s lips began to leave a damp trail along the arch of Jim’s neck, his tongue and teeth attempting to touch every inch of skin they could reach.

“You cannot die on my behalf. You must promise me this.”

He had pulled back to stare at Jim again, and the look on his face – the way his eyes were eating up every twitch of Jim’s body, every tiny noise Jim made, every half-whispered plea to fall from Jim’s lips – 

It was like Spock was staring at the most precious thing in the universe, and Leonard didn’t think he’d ever seen that much love on one person’s face. Was this why Vulcans repressed everything so desperately? Because the intensity of their emotions made most human emotion look like the weak flicker of a dying flame in comparison?

“Spock, you can’t ask that of me.”

Jim sounded utterly wrecked, and Spock responded by stilling his body completely, keeping Jim pinned and immobile beneath him, his hands still pressed into the dirt above his head. Jim whined and tried to arch towards him, and Spock pressed him even harder into the dirt, letting his complete weight settle against Jim’s smaller body.

“You have made similar requests of me. You – you cannot disregard your own life so recklessly.”

Spock’s voice was even shakier than before, his face now pressed into the side of Jim’s neck, and Jim’s face twisted in a way that made Leonard’s heart break a little further.

“Don’t really have much of a choice, Spock,” he murmured, his pinned fingers twisting far enough to stroke along the back of Spock’s hand. “I don’t want to be here without you.”

It was a softly whispered confession, and Spock made an odd choking sound, his hands leaving Jim’s wrists to cradle his face, five long fingers falling into a familiar pattern.

“Jim, it is – I –” Spock bit off his words, and they stared at each other for an agonizing moment before Spock slammed his eyes shut, as though unable to deal with what was happening. “I have already lost too much. I do not believe that I could lose you. Please do not ask me to try.”

Jim’s too-blue eyes widened even further, and Leonard could swear he saw them shine with sudden moisture, a fitting counterpart to the new tremor in Jim’s voice. “Spock, you –”

Spock’s fingers suddenly pressed harder against Jim’s skin, cutting off Jim’s verbal response and leaving them both gasping at the mental connection, and Leonard suddenly remembered that he wasn’t supposed to be seeing this. After staring at their bodies for a moment longer – intertwined in every possible way, with a mental connection that went deeper than the physical ever could – he fled back to the hotel on wobbly legs, unable to stop his hands from shaking.

\- - -

For two weeks after shore leave, Leonard could barely look at Spock – he’d seen something he was never supposed to see, and trying to reconcile that loving-and-terrified Spock with the aloof Vulcan he met on the Bridge was too much for his tired brain to handle. Although he was eventually able to meet Spock’s eyes again, he still had the memory of that encounter burned into the back of his brain, and whenever he caught Jim smiling at Spock in a completely besotted way, it was enough to make Leonard flush to the tips of his ears.

Then, three months after that night and on the morning of Jim’s birthday, Spock tracked him down in sickbay just as Leonard’s shift was ending, and his somewhat convoluted request was enough to leave Leonard gaping in shock.

“Doctor, as it is my understanding that you have consoled Jim on his birthday for the past four years, it is logical to assume that a disruption in what is undoubtedly a helpful tradition would be inadvisable, and I request that you remain with him on the night of his birthday.”

When Leonard finally managed to stop sputtering, he realized that Spock was flushed an odd green colour, as though utterly embarrassed by this confession. Leonard tried to find the words he needed to respond, trying to imagine how much it would hurt Spock to believe that he couldn’t help his own lover with what had to be the hardest day of the year for Jim. 

“Jesus, Spock. All I ever do is get him drunk and offer an ear. Do you really think he’d want that over spending the night curled up around you?”

“He has not said so, but as you have known him for longer than I –”

“You’re the one he’s in love with, not me.” 

The green tint got a little darker, and Leonard had to admit that it was endearing, in a weird kind of way. He didn’t think he’d ever seen Spock squirm like this, and it was surprisingly satisfying – and not even in a vindictive way – to have the Vulcan ask him for something, as though Spock truly believed that Leonard could somehow be of greater help to Jim.

“Doctor –”

“I mean, if he wants me, I’ll be there in a heartbeat – but I’m pretty sure you two can come up with some way of coping. He’s never happier than when he’s with you.”

The dark shade of Spock’s skin was becoming almost alarming. “If you and Jim have developed a system that has worked for four years –”

“Well, why don’t we split the job? His lover and his best friend – hell, between the two of us, we might even keep him sober.”

Spock stared at him for a moment, before relief flashed through his eyes, and he curtly nodded his head, already leaning towards the doorway. “I shall talk to him. Thank you for your offer.”

He turned to exit the room as soon as the words were out, and Leonard couldn’t stop himself from reaching out to rest a hand against his arm, as though his wimpy human strength could keep him from leaving. Spock never did well with admitting that he didn’t know how to deal with something, and some part of Leonard couldn’t believe that Spock had actually come to him over this.

“You were really gonna let me handle what’s such a huge part of his life, even at the expense of your own desire to help? You actually thought Jim would prefer me over you?”

Spock just stared at him some more, somehow managing to look miserable with only his eyebrows, and Leonard couldn’t stop his lips from curving into a smile, his heart aching in a good way for the first time in longer than he cared to remember.

“That’s oddly endearing, Spock, as much as I hate to admit it, and I’ll vaccinate you for everything if you ever tell anyone I called you endearing. Shall I wander over for around 21:00?”

As Spock nodded again and left with a hint of gratitude in his eyes, going back to the man he seemed to love with an intensity that truly put human emotion to shame, Leonard couldn’t stop a grin from spreading across his face, as he suddenly realized that falling for Spock was undoubtedly the best thing Jim had ever done.


End file.
